Category: Personal Development

What a blast!

My 19 year old son Thomas invited me to a concert yesterday.  Knowing his tastes in music I purchased earplugs, and off we headed.  Are you sure you’re okay with coming along he asked?  Sure man, I like music!  After a bite to eat we headed off to The Transmission Room.  The band was called Lightening Rod Bolt, apparently from New York – it goes without saying I had never seen them previously.

Checking in at the door I was asked “Father and Son?” and on confirmation “hey what a cool Dad!”  Of course (sorry I had to say this – when you’re closer to 50 than 40 you hang on to everything you can).

Not since Mr JJ McAullife told me off in Form 2 Latin have I heard such noise!  I thought my jeans were vibrating, then I realised they were actually being forced to one side by the wind from the speakers.  The band played at floor level so unless you were right up close you couldn’t seem them.  The first “row” of spectators immediately started shaking wildly which I quickly realised was dancing, followed by the second and third rows and which point Thomas excused himself to join in.  I felt slightly anxious that the shaking thing might envelop me but was reassured when I looked at the people around me to see that they were probably Jesus’ disciples (or at least they had the same hair styles). 

What did I notice and why am I writing this up?  What really struck me was the respect that everyone had for each other.  Going crazy in the moshpit they moved and jostled as one and no-one appeared to get pushed or hurt.  You wouldn’t know it if you landed there without some context, but this long-haired, black T-shirt crowd could teach many of us respect for each other in a tight situation.  Thomas tells me there were only two in the band – though I didn’t see them.  It was fun and the crowd (and one Dad!) were pretty cool.

 


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No circulars please, we’re special in here!

Although the metal sign on my letterbox requests that no circulars be placed inside, the Auckland City deliverer can be guaranteed to still distribute their weekly newsletter. Usually, as I put out the rubbish and recycling bin on Sunday evening there is a quick transfer from letterbox to bin and I give it no more thought.

For some reason this week I took the newsletter inside and read about a new development at a park that that the city had acquired and was to develop further –  Monte Cecilia Park in Hillsborough.

Earlier this afternoon I asked my (just turned) 17 year old son Tim if he would like to go for a walk in the Domain.  We were about to head off when my neighbour Rhonda greeted us and suggested we visit that new park in Hillsborough. Good idea we agreed and after Rhonda helpfully found the address for us we headed there.  It turns out it’s less than 5 minutes drive from home.

The park is huge, tucked away from the main road, but with a The residue of Guy Fawkes nightsweeping landscape of lawn and enormous rubber trees. Our arrival in the carpark took the number of cars from 2 to 3.  A rubbish bin jammed full of the residue of a wild Guy Fawkes night greeted us.

On the leadership work we do we sometimes use photographs as prompts to talk about ourselves and where we are at. This seemed like a great place to take some more photographs and I did, explaining to Tim what I might use the photographs for.

Tim’s a young 17 year old – often mistaken for much younger and still loves family time and adventure with Dad. I asked Tim if we were to take a photo of anything in the park to describe his life and where he was at, what would he choose.

“Well I think I would be that rather scrawny little tree up by the really big trees” he said after some thought.  “Tell me more” I encouraged. “I am small, but I’m getting bigger and I will grow up into a big tree, but right now I’m small”.  “And what about the big trees, what do they mean for you?” I enquired, “they protect me and look after me while I’m still growing”.

Monte Cecilia Park, Hillsborough, AucklandWhoever you ask this of, their imagery will be special, and will be different – sitting back and taking the time to hear where others are at, encouraging them to use their imagery can be the most special thing  – you might be surprised how much others need you.

Every leadership story is unique. Every person’s story is unique. Take the time to find it and you might just find more than you could ever hope for.

No Circulars Please! We’re special in here!


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Are you cutting corners to save time?

During an afternoon coffee with a friend today we talked about a significant event that had impacted on both of us over a period of time.  My friend had initially been somewhat on the peripheral of what was going on and I had assumed that the details of the events were not necessarily of great importance to him.

How wrong I was.

During our discussion it became apparent that what I had seen as unnecessary explanation or detail was in fact rightly perceived as non-disclosure.  My friend was not judgemental in this regard but was honest in seeking to understand why it appeared that I had made selected and timely disclosures of information as it suited me.

I believed I was simply saving time.  I know that I was also avoiding potentially difficult conversations which I had not been ready for.  I was cutting corners.  Not only was that wrong,  I shouldn’t have even been on the road.  I wasn’t ready.

Not everyone needs every detail.  But when you are dealing with your trust bank, there really is no short cut.

Don’t get on the road, if you’re thinking of taking short cuts! People will notice. I was fortunate this time to have a friend who believed in me enough to tell me.


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Are you for real?

Earlier this week I had some meetings with some great people talking about leadership. Getting ready for work that morning I decided to go full-blown shirt and tie. Yep, I’ve got dozens of ties, lots of suits, but frankly, that’s just not me. But my expectation was that other’s expectations were that I should wear a shirt and tie. Even writing this now seems absurd. But it’s what I did and I admit to having done it in the past.

My first appointment was smartly dressed with an open neck shirt. “so, where does your programme fit in? what’s different to others he asked”. “Well I said, it’s about authenticity, we want people to develop the real leader inside them – not like a copy of someone they think is a great leader – take Barak Obama, most people would say he’s so natural, himself.” Then it hit me and I confessed! Continue reading “Are you for real?” →