Tag: Resilience

Let the search stop

In my massage therapist rooms there is a sign “cherish yesterday, dream tomorrow, enjoy today”. If you believe the police then we all drove a little slower over the weekend. Look around as you drive to work. There’s some pretty serious people heading someone in one hell of a rush doing this, doing that. Sometimes I wonder if I had such an important job as these people have, whether I’d be up for it. I’m not sure I’d ever find what I was supposed to be searching for – or that’s what it looks like.

It’s not just at work either – with tweeting, I’m learning that there’s some manic activity to be completed at home too (I’m guilty of cleaning the fish tank at midnight occasionally, because, well I dunno, it just had to be done then!).

Leadership is about results right? So that means doing lots of stuff, now? What stuff? Are you filling your morning, your day, your week, your month, your year and your life with activity to complete something? What thing? Is anybody really noticing?

I reflected over the weekend about having held my driving licence for 32 years and realised I’m driving slower lately. Not ‘cos the cops have told me (okay, a little bit, I really don’t want a speeding ticket) but because I can. I’m enjoying the moment. That moment of leadership which inspires someone to excel, to grow, to challenge their team can happen today. In fact it will if you’re there. Do you find yourself thinking “on reflection that was an amazing development back there in June 2010”? Being there now might be pretty special. In fact you might need to be there for it to actually happen.

Where is the leader? Searching forward, occasionally looking back at something missed or…pause… looking around….. now?

Don’t just have a full mind, make yours a mindful one too.

Stephen

ps a massage is great for resilience and mindfulness – I go here

Is it a good fit?

With three days remaining until the Rotorua Marathon all the anxieties and sore bits of my body suddenly appear as if by design, in that last week when very little running is actually done, prior to the big day.  The best thing to do in the last week is, well, not much at all. Turn the legs over a couple of times for 30 or 40 minutes my coach and running colleagues all confirm.

Someone told me recently that the paradox of authentic leadership – being yourself and being there for others – can actually be more demanding than the command and control manager.  It seems that authenticity is for me, a place I’m in my groove and it’s not that hard.  But the demanding bit can sometimes be being there for everyone else.  In fact, the whole scenario is a bit of a paradox isn’t it:  I’m authentic, but I need to be there for you, even if that’s not me at that moment. More energy is exerted by the authentic leader because he or she genuinely walks in others shoes to nuture, grow and develop them.

Leadership is not for everyone and everyone is not fit for leadership.  But if you’re going to do it, I reckon you better get yourself resilient to look after your team and supporters by being physically fit. For me that’s running (did you guess?!) and some days, like today when I went for that last 30 minute run, it not only formed part of an overall training regime, it gave me the headspace to sort out a few things and come back refreshed.  Ask my PA Raewyn.  She’ll confirm it I’m sure!

We have a special resilience session on our AUTCIL Authentic Leadership Course – and it’s got a special new component on this upcoming course (can’t say or it would spoil the surprise). It’s important stuff for authentic leaders.

As leaders you’re got to be fit, otherwise it won’t be a good fit.

As for Saturday, can’t wait.


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Fire my spirit

So goes the last line of the simple song 75 men and young men at the Essentially Men Pathways to Manhood gathering sang together as we waited to be met by mothers and family yesterday. Sitting here right now there is so much to reflect on that has truly fired the spirit of my son Tim and me too.

This was a gritty, hard, challenging week with men. Great men who shared, endorsed, inspired and challenged us all. Never have I felt so proud and so sad all at once. It took a few days but when Tim found his voice, man, did we hear it. A school life of bullying and being picked on because he wears glasses, because he doesn’t see as well as others, because of this, that and it didn’t matter what. Any bloody excuse will do. Bullying turned to a stone-like resistance built out of fear of failure. Adults then embark ed on their own special form of bullying – bludgeoning into submission,  challenging in his face: What is it Tim? Is it about you only? What is your problem?.

In your 17 years Tim you have faced challenges that few can understand, but I tell you Tim, and you know this, 75 men who love and admire you know.  And they were there for you and are there now for you. When they said sorry on behalf of all the boys and men who have bullied you, they meant it. You stand tall now.  You have greater strength than all of those bullies put together. The boy is gone. You are a young man.  You want more one-on-one with me.  You will have it. You fire my spirit more than you can imagine. I love you.

And let’s reflect on what the men said about you: Strong, a great conservationist who extends the topic, funny, you want to please, courageous, cool to hang out with, a sensational smile, resilient, independent and they said you should cherish your ability to think outside the norm. I could go on and on how they affirmed you.

They want you back next year to help out. And let’s not forget the Golden Pisspot award you won for the the Young Pathways Man (you better explain to the women where pisspot comes from!).

This journey gave me a deep reflective space to get my own life in balance. Thanks to all the men at the gathering. You are special and formed to deliver one of life’s crucibles for me.

All the elements are with you Tim. Stand tall and proud. The men all stand with you. Thank you for taking me.

Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, fire my spirit.

Stephen

Offside with Hillary

“You won’t be needing that much” were the words that began my adventures on the Hillary Trail several weeks ago. What followed was a dumping of half of the contents of my newly acquired camel pack on the advice of a trusted running colleague, Froste. I had to trust Froste, he had claimed after all to be at school in the same year as my father. If he didn’t know what he was talking about, who would?

The Hillary Trail is a spectacular 74km “tramp” stretching from the Arataki Visitors Centre near Titirangi through the Waitakere Ranges and follows the coastline from Whatipu near the Manukau Heads north to Muriwai. The first attempt at the trail started with a group of about seven – three determined to run the entire length in one day, me with a “50ks or five hours – whatever comes first – hoping to get to Piha” and a group who were doing 11 out and then back.

The trail has incredible views and it is not easy! It is steep – so much so that language not used in polite society was heard on occasion. The trail takes in the peak of every mountain between Arataki and Piha. There is gorse and more gorse north of Bethells. At times the gorse gives way to Thistle. Lovely relief. Michael Simons knows that if you scratch your legs after gorse all hell breaks loose.

And the fluids? Well I ran out at about 15km. Amazing how all the usual hygiene rules go out the window when you’re dehydrated and you’ll happily slurp on anyone’s camel pack.

Arriving at Whatipu (22km) in 6 hours it was pretty clear that all ambitions for the day were seriously in doubt. I vaguely recall assaulting Michael in my dehydrated delirium. Sorry Michael.

I seriously considered pulling out – having met my pre-conditions for the day but after drinking about 3 litres of water and filling my camel pack, I decided to do another 10k to make it to Karekare.

Karekare took another two hours and I called it a day. The remaining pack continued on for another two hours to Piha.

The following weekend we ran the Piha to Muriwai leg (32km) in a total time of six hours. Again, we ran out of water – there is a horrendous climb out of the forest supposedly near Muriwai, but fortunately Froste and Michael found a friendly resident who offered her scarce, so I found out later, tank water. With Froste and Michael having replenished (or so I thought) their camel packs I proceeded to rinse my cap thoroughly and fill my pack. Little did I know that with the tank water at low levels they had taken a quick slurp, which explained why they waited 700 metres up the road to share on mine. Bad luck boys, I’d drunk the whole lot by then!

Michael declared it was 2km to Muriwai but the GPS proved otherwise – 7 in fact – and on arrival we were met by Julie M and Mrs Froste with drinks, muffins and good cheer.

For reasons that escaped me at the time, I agreed to go and do the last 32km again today, with an anticipated 6.00am start – “be at Froste’s at 5.30am sharp” was the command (news has got out that I’m not always on time). Sunrise is much later guys! Get with the programme – but we got started by 6.40am.

Rolled my right ankle twice and my left five times going off the trail today – fell over 3 times (though others say it was at least 5).

Would I do it again? You bet. The views are stunning – rainforest, black sand-dunes, waterfalls, surf, bulls, sheep, other runners looking even worse, trampers, babbling creeks, rivers to run in (with roads parallel that “you can’t use – that’s not on the map”). It’s a lot of fun. Plus there’s the 10ks I haven’t yet covered in the middle.

And it builds resilience – reslience that stays with us beyond running, whether that be in managing a family, running a business, leading others or caring for someone.

Thanks to Michael Simons, Mike Frost, Julie McMillin, Mike Dickie, Danny Baker, Michelle Garrett, Carol Bielby, Simon Clendon, Penny Kirkwood and Liz Frost for being part of my journeys on the Hillary Trail. I have a feeling I haven’t got everyone’s name here so forgive me – you have your own stories too so feel free to share.

Kodak moment? Running next to Froste on a wide stretch of track. Suddenly without warning he appears to be sliding in for a try next to me. Picks himself up. No ball. Offside Froste it’s clearly a penalty. Don’t bother bringing out the drink bottles mate – you won’t be needing that.

Stephen