Tag: Leadership Insights

Is it time to give up defining ourselves?

This blog has been sitting in draft for a few weeks but lately, I’ve been talking quite a bit to people about self – you know my brand, defining myself, my self esteem and so on.

My Dad (I am sure my biggest and possibly only blogging fan and did I just say my!) sent me some scans of a book by Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth) with a segment about ego:

“You are most powerful, most effective when you are completely yourself. But don’t try to be yourself. That’s another role…’How can I be myself?’ is in fact the wrong question. It implies you have to do something to be yourself…..[so] give up defining yourself – to yourself or others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem.”

As my Dad could, I see the relationship with our authenticity. Is it time to give up defining ourselves (for ourselves and others?).

Are we not what we are?  Or in practical speak, what we are will come through.  Which leads me to my next thought for the next blog – are you faking it?  See you soon.


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Be selfish and give!

“What makes you happy?” I asked a business leader today. 

I love asking this question.  In my experience there is nothing more rewarding and likely to lead to happiness than growing others.  

Open for giving?

 

The thing about growing others that you give what you have, so you don’t have to learn much (other than how to give), there’s always back up when you need it, and those you grow, well they grow and become happier.  And so will you. 

No-one openly disagrees with this scenario in my experience, but putting it into practice is not always that simple. Some functional managers  jealously guard what they have learned, protecting their patch for the next promotion. Sometimes it’s even rewarded, reinforcing the behaviour. 

Therein lies the dilemma.  If I share I lose my personal competitive advantage. On function you might, and if that’s you then leadership might not be your gig (yet).  

So what did my business leader say in response?  “It sounds selfish you know, but I get so much happiness from giving to grow others”. 

So be selfish, look after your own happiness and give.  I don’t think anyone will criticise you for that sort of selfishness!

Happy on your holiday?

I know I’m not the first, in fact I might be the last, but I’m back at work.  I got that strange feeling again I get about 4 days away from going back to work that says “why do you work?! is that really necessary?”.

On the way out this evening from the office I ran into the cleaner “so it was a tough day?” he enquired “yeah but the first day always is but I reckon I’ll be back!”

So having got those thoughts out I’m back.  New and improved with sunburn behind my knees.  Yes, for the first time in over 4 years of running I burnt the back of my knees running the Waiheke Wharf2Wharf on Saturday.  Not quite sure why?? What fantastic views and equally fantastic hills.  It was a beautiful day, but certainly one of the more challenging events I’ve been in.

The break gave me a chance to read, run and rest.  It was great.  I’m re-reading Stephen Hawking’s A brief history of time which I find fascinating and certainly puts into perspective our lives.  Actually we’re pretty lucky just to be here (the odds were very long), not to mention living in a relatively safe, open, free country with the best outdoors imaginable. Those of you that came on the Authentic Leadership Course will know the value of what the outdoors can teach us about leadership so I’m determined to continue in that vein both personally and professionally this year.

So what happened to leadership over the break?  Well the prime minister went to Hawaii and left his deputy to look after us.  We didn’t mind, in fact we didn’t really notice did we? The PM obviously trusted his deputy to take the reins while he had a break with family (good call I say).  As for the deputy, well he seemed to not interfere with what we were doing – we just got on and did it.

Maybe as leaders we all need to go on holiday a bit more often.  What do you think?

Stephen

ps Should we help our fellow humans in Haiti out?  The tectonic plates showed their usual indifference to human needs and the resulting tragedy is really quite horrific. I’ll give a bit to Doctors without Borders I think.


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Lesson one from 2009: there is more than one lesson!

I’m fortunate – I don’t work in a salt mine – though I do like my life to have full flavour. These are my New Year’s day ramblings looking back on my leadership lessons from 2009. They’re personal to me – there’s only one person in the world you can change – and for me, that’s me.  I’ve put in italics what these things mean to me.  They might not mean the same thing or anything to you.  That’s okay.

  1. Being happy really is important, really important.  Could be all there is!  Will you follow an unhappy leader?
  2. There is no superhero who can change anything!  (except you).  You’re the leader, so lead.
  3. We all have a default expression – mine is grim, so I better watch it ‘cos I’m laughing inside!  First impressions can count.
  4. I love distance running – the more I do the better I feel.  It helps me to focus, solve problems, keep healthy, try ideas out with my fellow runners and I see more of the country than I ever thought possible.  A healthy leader is around longer.
  5. Give.  That was a promise I made in March.  It’s an attitude shift and much easier and more rewarding than I thought it would be.  It’s not  to be confused with marketing or sampling.  It’s giving only.  Leadership is about giving for others.
  6. Twelve months ago I was going through changes.  Many people helped me for which I am very grateful.  I notice there are people right now going through similar changes.  I hope I can return the support given to me to others.  Leadership is about giving for others (again!)
  7. I’ll never give up having fun and laughing.  Authenticity.
  8. Someone will wrong you.  But in the end you’ll learn so much you will be grateful for the experience. Reflection is a powerful leadership habit.
  9. I try not to pretend.  Authenticity.

In 2010 I want to let my creativity flow to discover new ways to continue to learn about leadership with other happy people who want to make a difference.  Full flavour for me in 2010.

So when I say happy new year, the happy part really is important.

Happy new year!

Stephen

ps did you know that in New Zealand’s largest wine growing region, Marlborough, we mine salt?


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