As I write it’s 59 minutes until we have the full force of the Lockdown. The Newmarket Viaduct is strangely noisier than usual – steady slow streams of traffic don’t filter through the double-glazing, but trucks and other vehicles at pace do – just. Westfield is well-lit as usual and only the two supermarkets at the centre will be open for business tomorrow.
I’m at the point of – just make it be here! – the anticipation feels the worst part – and once it’s here we’ll adjust and carry on. Life will never be the same – but this thing will pass – before we know it. That is not a scientific prediction, but a reasonable assumption based on past events.
I’m feeling a bit anxious. I have always felt that freedom is my most important value – I’ve been attracted to it as a restorative and sustaining value for many years – and having a state sanctioned emergency rule of law in place is an anathema to that.
Rationally I get this Lockdown as I expect most of us do, so what to do about the anxiety? I can’t rely on my rational self to resolve it completely. I know the police are generally reasonable (I was in the police once) so we needn’t be afraid. I hear that the science supports the action – I trust our senior health professionals – we’re very fortunate to have independent government agencies, charged with providing expert and impartial advice. I don’t think most of our politicians want to rule over a police state – although I’d like to see more challenge to keep them accountable – so rationally I can reduce my anxiety somewhat.
Experts tell us that the anticipation of a stressful experience or event, often creates more anxiety than the thing itself. So I’m hoping that by the time the morning comes all will be well!
My planning is for Work, Walking, Windfulness and Whatever else. My four Ws for now:
- Work – I’m fortunate
- Walking – I completed my 101st walk in 2020 today so this Lockdown is going to see me steaming ahead on my goal of 366 for the year (who remembered it was a leap year?). And yes, they’ll be solo.
- Windfulness – that’s just Mindfulness spelt with a W for no reason other than I could. More on that another day. But the point is that actually embracing this moment in all its scariness, unusualness and new opportunities might be the best gift to ourselves.
- Whatever else – That can be any of the things you’ve been meaning to do at home. Watch all 25 Bond films (I might actually do that one) or Woody Allen’s film Whatever Works, read all Tintin Books (again!), go on-line and create your Family Tree, and blog every day (I’ll try).
Looking forward to it being here. At least then I can stop worrying about it coming!