It felt hard when I got home. We had celebrated my son Thomas’ 21st at Iguacu in Parnell. A lovely evening which included some healing. I wrote quite a lot in a journal in the 90s and had a collection of memorabilia from home and school that captured the moment. It amazed me how much you forget. So if your kids say something like “When you die and come back as another person do you remember who you were?” then write it down. It’ll be worth it. And it was.
Putting together an album of photographs covering 21 years – and really only snippets which is why I called it “The unauthorised and completely random photo album to Thomas from Dad” – I went though the journals, the photographs and the large container of memorabilia. What it came down to were 30 pages. It took a bit of time, but then it felt thin and not worthy of such a fine young man. But it was a representation of 21 very special years of growing up.
I’ve regarded Thomas as grown up for quite some time but when I got home after the dinner it suddenly hit me: now it’s real, I’ve given him all I can to him as a young person. I consoled myself that I can give him (I hope) plenty man-to-man.
Such an empathetic, energetic and optimistic person is a rare find, and Thomas is one.
I’m still slightly sad, not sure why, but I’ve let go in a way I hadn’t expected to feel on Saturday.
Time to grow. For us both.
One thought on “Letting go to grow”
A really nice read. Thomas certainly has grown into a fine young man. You have reason to feel proud; and I’m sure he too now appreciates all the support, love and guidance he has had from you over the years. Well done!