Tag: Personal Development

That moment

When Li Cunxin was seven, for no more reason than a look and a glance he was given the opportunity to audition for the Beijing Ballet Company. The rest is history and if you’re not sure who I’m talking about yet he’s popularly known as Mao’s Last Dancer, from his book and movie of the same name.

Meeting Li this week I discovered a man with all the same stuff we all have: worry about the kids, how to earn a living and strain on the relationships during tough times. But he’s also a man who’s learned and reflected on what leads to personal and professional success. And importantly what you might do if you want to make a change for yourself.

Li was the sixth of seven children growing up in poverty in rural China in the 1960s when the freak moment changed his life forever and he grew to take the world stage in ballet.

He had lots of messages but by far the most powerful message was about recognising that moment of opportunity and going for it. Seizing the moment and giving it your all. MCing a Gala Dinner of 300 last night I relayed a little of Li’s story and asked those present to reflect on moments of opportunity they have been given. Did you take it? I recall as an eight year old playing rugby for Linwood Rugby Club (Fergie McCormack!). Well to be honest I was on the pitch with the jersey on but I was way too scared to go near the action! The ball somehow come towards me and the try line was within sight. I guess the offside rule wasn’t strictly enforced but that’s not important. Should I pick up the ball and all the fear that went with that? I didn’t, I kicked it cos I was too scared. I can still remember the utter look of disappointment on the coach’s face. Stayed with me that look, for forty years. And troubled me occasionally, until this week.

I never did do that again I’ve realised. I’ve always grabbed the things given to me and hopefully made a reasonable go of it. Quite a few opportunities have come my way and I’m pretty sure more will and I’ll grab them too.

Which is what Li has always done. Leaders can see the future and recognise outcomes that other’s fail to see. Personal leaders recognise opportunities for what they are. They won’t usually be wrapped in a gift box or with flashing lights. And that’s the challenge. Seeing what’s in front of you, picking it up and running hard. Like it’s the one big chance you have.

And if you didn’t take it, you’ve got a valuable lesson to not repeat that mistake again.

Stephen.

Service

Forty-nine year old Steve Carell apparently noticed how hard out the Pizza restaurant he was at, that he donned an apron and spent an hour serving, answering phone calls and mucking it up in the kitchen.  In Jeff Hadens 9 Beliefs of Remarkably Successful People  number 6 is Volunteers always win (yes take these quick lists with a grain of salt but if it works you know!).

I saw the movie Cafe de flore today. It’s too early to process what it’s all about but it’s a bit about exorcising some connections that don’t work where they are and embracing new ones or old ones in a new context.

I’ve been too flat for blogging recently, writing an article for a magazine in the weekend was really hard, but the movie, some great conversation over the last few days (even thanked someone for an involuntary coaching session it lifted me so much) I feel back, as Jasbindar Singh would say, in the groove.  And listening to the song Cafe de flore.  Very groovy tonight.

Simple pieces of service to others can lift them and you immeasurably.  I’m thinking of a Conversation at a Cafe with like-minded people on leadership stuff.  I’ll mention this in the next day or three and get it going.  Service to each other to lift our spirits and our business too.  Sound oblique?  Could be, but just roll with it.  It’ll be fun.  Especially if you’re 49 or think you might run into someone interesting who is.

Stephen

Good conditioning for flying

It’s not clear to me why, but a few short years ago I started to seriously dislike flying. Each flight was ruined by the anxiety that built up prior to it which more or less disappeared once the plane was off the ground. I became a text book case of the anxious flyer: avoidance, ruined sleeps the night (and sometimes nights) prior, distraction strategies etc.

I convinced myself I wasn’t actually afraid of flying but rather it was the confinement and more importantly, the fear of fear itself. After all, as a teenager I had taken flying lessons and done my fair share of business and personal trips to many destinations, local and overseas. I’d even flown in an Airforce Hercules with the back door down.

So, as I write this on my 26th flight this year, feeling quite relaxed, partly from a big job now complete, I feel it’s time to reflect. Grant Amos’ Flying without fear course was the start of my return journey last year. I found the programme pretty confronting – not really my style of personal development – but there were lots of tools and techniques to get through whatever your particular paranoia might be: wings falling off, suffocating etc! (I can joke now). So thanks Grant.

20120516-151409.jpg

In the end, like all personal development it’s the stuff you do yourself that makes all the difference. Others will shine a light on what it might be but you’ll be the one that needs to do the work. And get the reward.

Stephen

Get the low down on 2051

Right and wrong are not necessarily at different ends of the spectrum. Or so says the Rev. Charlie Jackson when introducing Felix Bush in the movie Get Low. Forty years after a bad thing happened Bush came out of his self-imposed exile to ask his community for forgiveness.

In those 40 years he gave up the propsect of relationships, family, a career and everything else he might have done with the bigger part of his adult life. It was a timely movie after the reflections of my last blog, focusing on revenge.

When you look back 40 years it’s 1971. I was 8 for most of the year. Standard Two with Mrs Hindmarsh at Linwood Avenue School. Norm Kirk, the school’s most famous pupil, was yet to be Prime Minister. Starting music tuition like the rest of the family, walking to and from school and, if my memory serves me correctly my one year of Rugby Union at Fergie McCormick’s club Linwood with my friends Nigel Hughes and Victor Harris. Victor died a few years later in a fall near Hanmer. That was sad. So although it’s 40 years ago, much of it is accessible.

HQ Holden from the early 1970s - this one in San Remo Gold just like ours

Looking forward 40 years is quite a different matter for me. It’s so far out there and I can’t perceive that anything that might happen this year in 2011 will be of import in 2051 (if I’m here!).  So, if I’m lucky enough to still be here, the good things will be present and active in my life – my children, who knows their children, and my important relationships. One thing is for sure, I won’t be dwelling on the guy that took my carpark, or the colleague who had unpleasant things to say, or every more serious matters that haven’t gone my way. That’s life afterall, not a bank for later.

It’s a funny movie, with a powerful message. It’s surprising how long people hold onto all sorts of old stuff. Felix Bush took away the better part of his life over something he did when he was a young man. In the end it didn’t matter who’s fault it all was. Most people, however old they are couldn’t imagine that anything that’s happening now would still be bothering them in 2051. But you need constant vigilance and I’ve written in the past about getting rid of your old baggage.

I’m not rushing for 2051 to be here. But I’m damn sure that when it arrives for me I’ll be at peace. Will you?

Have a great week!

Stephen