Leaving home is hard

After a year on the market my house finally sold before Christmas. After so many open homes – always keeping the house pristine – deals that didn’t go through and new advertising promotions, the prospect of a sale became all consuming.

There was contentment on reaching a deal, even some happiness, but when the time came to prepare to move this month, dread set in. How could I leave my home of 12 years? After all, I have lived there longer than any other house in my life. I had made it perfect for me.

A colleague of many years left last week, the day before my move, to pursue his own journey last week. He made a big decision to disrupt for the future.

When he left it was an opportunity to reflect on the value of relationships and the often unspoken meaning that comes with valuable relationships at work.

Leaving my home has been a necessary disruption to make way for my future housing plans.

Tonight while I was showing the new owners all the little things they should know, two little girls appeared at the front door.  Neighbours with farewell drawings. So sweet. Their way of letting me know that they valued our friendship.


Nothing new and really meaningful can happen without disruption and for me a bit of pain. But it’s a good thing. A great clean out, a new neighbourhood and proving I really do know how that complicated A/V system goes together!

So for me, a silver lining although I do wonder what it’s like to be completely content in the present state. Does that bring similar joy in the end?

In the end, whatever works. And stay tuned for my new beginnings on the home front.

Happy new year.








Never forgotten

As I recall Victor was a tall and athletic boy. Like me, he lived in Linwood Ave, just up the road and we were friends from school. Unlike me he was fine rugby player. Visiting the Harris’ house after school to play was a treat – there were different toys and things to do and Mrs Harris was always pleased to see me.

In 1976 Victor started at Linwood High School along with my other good friend Nigel while I went to Shirley Boys’. On a Saturday in early March Nigel, Victor, Victor’s father and some others were up near Hanmer along the Hurunui River when a rock or similar came down and struck Victor on the head and he fell into the river.

He died at the scene.

It would have been Victor’s birthday last weekend and despite the 40 years past I still remember him on his birthday.

Life is short, but Victor’s was way too short. I remember the funeral – sitting near the back at the chapel in the Crematorium at Bromley in Linwood Ave. It seemed surreal. I was probably too young to fully understand.

I also remember visiting Mrs Harris with Mum. She seemed amazingly composed and at peace. Nigel is still in touch with the Harris’ and he tells me they are at peace about Victor.

Never underestimate the power of reflection. It’s taken me 40 years, but I’m pleased to have said something about Victor. A great friend and never forgotten.


Taking your friends into a new year

Family often get talked about, or that is my sense, in my blogs here. I wrote a blog of lessons on the first day of 2010 and when I started thinking about a blog for the last day of the year I thought I’d go back to the very beginning and see where I was at. I started 2010 thinking about happiness, authenticity, running and leading without waiting for the superhero to save or do for you.

On reflection, they were good things to start the year on and I’m going to take them through to next year. Family was big this year (is it ever not) but I had meaningful conversations with siblings, children and parents about all sorts of things and as a result family relationships definitely feel richer.

I’m going to keep connected to family and I’m going to grow my relationships with friends. I’m sure I’ve neglected some and that’s been at times when I’ve been so busy that it hasn’t felt like there is time. Somewhere in that equation, happiness fell away when it got too busy or the friendly chats stopped. I’m not sure if we drew a causal loop on that where it would start and finish, but it doesn’t matter.

I’m going to lead myself into 2011 being myself, I don’t need to mention the superhero again, but I will be mindful of friends along with my family.

That’s got to be a happy place to say happy new year!