Category: Personal Development

Expecting the same

The definition of insanity is expecting a different result by doing the same each time. Or so said a business associate of mine when discussing some contracts she is involved with. It was the movies again last night for me:  Larry Crowne was a lifer at Umart who was sacked because his lack of college education meant that there was no prospect of promotion. Larry went off to university in an effort to make a step change in his life. He found a girl and you can guess what happened.

Not everyone likes a step change.  Some people want gradual change  and believe that step changes, especially if the team make-up changes dramatically, do more harm than good in the end.

Larry had originally trained as a navy chef and started courses in economics and in public speaking to make his step change. As the public speaking course progressed it looked more and more like story-telling (sorry but can’t resist putting a plug in for our brand new website at CIL!). Larry wanted to make a change by gaining a university education. In the end the biggest change he made was the people he met. And in the process he discovered that he didn’t need any theory about public speaking – all he needed was to unlock the authentic story of his life. All of that was a big step change.

The thing about change is that we never really know what the end result will be – what we do know is that when it’s started it won’t be the same again – which for Larry Crowne was the main thing.

Do you want a different result? Then you need to do something different, sometimes we won’t even know where it will end and the most important thing is that change has begun. I quite like the concept of a change from a burning platform. There’s a saying that you have one month to make a change for a significant life event. Unless you want the same, go for it!

Although it’s a predicable feel good movie, it’s funny and off the wall in places. I enjoyed it.

Stephen

Departed

James Bulger was the FBI’s most wanted until last week when he was arrested in Los Angeles. So I’m watching the Martin Scorsese movie The Departed which is based on the life of Bulger.

I guess Bulger won’t see freedom again, if he’s convicted of any one of the 17 murders he’s accused of committing. You might say he’s departed the community already.

I’ve watched many people depart from various workplaces. Sometimes voluntarily, sometimes when they didn’t want to, sometimes with regret and sometimes they even stay when they’ve like, departed.

The cool blue of the Auckland Museum by night

We should all challenge ourselves that what we’re doing is meaningful and brings happiness to our lives. If it doesn’t then we should have departed, not just emotionally but physically too. 

There are always more options open than we realise. If you’re bringing yourself and others happiness then fantastic. If either of those are not, then be real. You won’t regret it.

When I’m not happy doing what I am doing, I’ll be moving on. Promise.

Otherwise it just gets messy. Like the end of this movie. Very messy. Blood on the floor.

Stephen

Special matters

Two new elements, named 114 and 116 joined the periodic table this week. I didn’t see that on the television news, which isn’t surprising as I’m such a rare watcher of television. This evening I was home and watched though, as there was a plane emergency that I’d heard about on the radio while driving. Then there was $1 ski passes, an IT hiccup in the police communications system that didn’t create any problems other than greater use of pen and paper and, before I started drifting off, some redundancies and the OCR announcement today.

The president of the International Criminal Court says he might have evidence of institutionalised rape in Libya i.e. soldiers are being supplied with sexual performance enhancing drugs (I should have just said Viagra, now I have) – but it’s not funny at all, in fact if it’s true is appalling – to facilitate mass rape of women and children. Their own people.

In my observation, somewhere from the centre to the margins of any institution that purports to own morals are things that truly moral people find repugnant. For example, fundamentalists of any description have moral rules about stealing, murder, rape etc which we can all relate to, in fact we don’t need them as “rules” as we’re moral. But go out a little and you’ll likely find that it becomes immoral to, for example, divorce or work on certain days. None of these things are morals, they’re rules. Or is it circular? They might think that they are morals if you view the deemed inappropriate behaviour as immoral. But why do you view it as immoral? Dig a little deeper and you’ll find the rule that sits behind the so-called (and I’d say fake) moral.

Which of course begs the question about how we get morals. And do they change? There’s greater minds than mine alive today who can argue that morals are part of us, and part of us that grows as we evolve and develop greater insights into our own happiness. We’ve been finding new elements on average every two and a half years for the last 250 years. If we looked back 250 years we’d find some pretty strange things called morals. Strange for many of us, but not so strange for some people, still stuck in the rule book.

So does all this matter? Yes. It matters greatly if a government assaults its citizens. It’s an outrage and the work of evil people. Or an organisation spreads lies about the preventative impacts of condoms, to conform to its “rules”. Even as we evolve and grow, parts of our species stagnates, goes backwards, but I hope, will again lurch forward again one day.

A lot of variations in perceptions of right and wrong – morals – have surfaced in this information age. At the same time our understanding of our environment marches on, and new elements are discovered and put on the school science tables.

These elements are special matters in our world. Science quietly advances and challenges our thinking of what we assume is static and settled. No chance. Morals are like science too, which we’ll keep growing and evolving. I hope we will look back and wonder how primitive we were.

Morals are special matters too, that deserve our special attention to ensure we are all happy. That’s the core of what a moral is about. Whether in Tripoli or Takapuna.

Stephen

Get the low down on 2051

Right and wrong are not necessarily at different ends of the spectrum. Or so says the Rev. Charlie Jackson when introducing Felix Bush in the movie Get Low. Forty years after a bad thing happened Bush came out of his self-imposed exile to ask his community for forgiveness.

In those 40 years he gave up the propsect of relationships, family, a career and everything else he might have done with the bigger part of his adult life. It was a timely movie after the reflections of my last blog, focusing on revenge.

When you look back 40 years it’s 1971. I was 8 for most of the year. Standard Two with Mrs Hindmarsh at Linwood Avenue School. Norm Kirk, the school’s most famous pupil, was yet to be Prime Minister. Starting music tuition like the rest of the family, walking to and from school and, if my memory serves me correctly my one year of Rugby Union at Fergie McCormick’s club Linwood with my friends Nigel Hughes and Victor Harris. Victor died a few years later in a fall near Hanmer. That was sad. So although it’s 40 years ago, much of it is accessible.

HQ Holden from the early 1970s - this one in San Remo Gold just like ours

Looking forward 40 years is quite a different matter for me. It’s so far out there and I can’t perceive that anything that might happen this year in 2011 will be of import in 2051 (if I’m here!).  So, if I’m lucky enough to still be here, the good things will be present and active in my life – my children, who knows their children, and my important relationships. One thing is for sure, I won’t be dwelling on the guy that took my carpark, or the colleague who had unpleasant things to say, or every more serious matters that haven’t gone my way. That’s life afterall, not a bank for later.

It’s a funny movie, with a powerful message. It’s surprising how long people hold onto all sorts of old stuff. Felix Bush took away the better part of his life over something he did when he was a young man. In the end it didn’t matter who’s fault it all was. Most people, however old they are couldn’t imagine that anything that’s happening now would still be bothering them in 2051. But you need constant vigilance and I’ve written in the past about getting rid of your old baggage.

I’m not rushing for 2051 to be here. But I’m damn sure that when it arrives for me I’ll be at peace. Will you?

Have a great week!

Stephen