Category: Personal Development

Aida Fa’aeteete is a remarkable leader

On 30 June last year Duncan Meek made a terrible error on the Southern Motorway in Auckland and collided with the Fa’aeteete family van.  Mr Fa’aeteete was killed leaving Mrs Fa’aeteete instantly widowed with a son, a daughter, granddaughter and another on the way.

I admit to reading the news and being somewhat immune to it all.   It’s not often I feel particularly moved but the story in the NZ Herald about Duncan Meek’s sentencing and Mrs Fa’aeteete moved me.

“To err is human, to forgive is divine,” Mrs Fa’aeteete told the court. “If Petelo was here he would say that it’s done. Learn from it and don’t do it again.”  She continued: “We met with Duncan Meek. His monumental loss of concentration had dark consequences – it caused the death of our beloved Petelo. His remorseful demeanour left me no option than to live by Petelo’s legacy to be forgiving.”

Mrs Fa’aeteete hugged Mr Meek in court, cried and told him to not do it again.

Where did Aida Fa’aeteete get such strength to forgive?  I don’t really know, but probably in part from her late beloved Petelo.  I’m sure Mr Meek’s remorse had something to do with it too.

Mrs Fa’aeteete is a remarkable woman who shows extraordinary leadership.  The courts are full of revenge dressed up as justice while we have the people, the will and the resources to truly move on with justice that restores peace through forgiveness and being heard.

We can all learn from Mr Fa’aeteete, more so than she thinks possible I reckon.  Such powerful actions, unplanned and genuine. She get’s the last word today: “My husband was a forgiving person. I will forgive Duncan once, I just hope he learns from it. If we achieve that, and he doesn’t do it again and if someone else learns from this, then that’s more than enough for me.”

Stephen

A simple walk

I’m slowing getting used to working up high. I didn’t think much of it at first but after three weeks I’ve realised that there is something about working in a high-rise that gives me a different sense. Something not quite right at first.

I headed off on foot to return a DVD to the local video store tonight, then continued almost all the way to Mt Eden Village through the back streets. It’s a beautiful summer’s evening – someone was practicing the piano with the window open, a young man was watching a movie on his laptop on the balcony and Grandma’s (she’s getting a lot of airing in the blogs lately!) old house was looking tidy and calm. A peaceful warm night.

I’m tired in the evening nowadays, learning the ropes at my new work is taking a lot of energy and walking tonight up to the video shop had unexpectedly good consequences. Simple really, I felt grounded.

I often walk on the waterfront and it’s grand, great views and you never tire of it. But a walk around the streets was something very special. Summer, local people, crickets, and that simple feeling of being connected with what’s around. This could be the good old days of Summer 2012 finally upon us so don’t miss it. And it’s yet another moment, when feeling not quite right that I’ve found peace in a simple connection.

Just a simple walk.

Stephen

These are the good old days part II!

I bounded up the stairs just now at home having returned from the movies alone. At my farewell lunch with colleagues from AUT just before Christmas I was taken to blog about the good old days. Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris explores both the glorious beauty of Paris and the good old days. On his midnight strolls through Paris whilst visiting with his fiance and future in-laws, Gil Pender, a screenwriter and budding author,  travels back to the good old days. He finds himself mixing with Hemmingway, Picasso and others. Okay, so it’s not real, but hell, you don’t go to the movies for reality!

It’s a delightful romantic comedy and I can’t believe it took me so long to see it. This week I started my new role at PwC. There’s been grief from parting and finishing and wondering whether I was living in the good old days these last few years. Now I know I was for certain.

In the last year or so I’ve come to know a very special man, the poet Sam Hunt, and now be privileged to help him to find more places to perform to those that would appreciate him. He offers much to those seeking to find their grounding and understand their moral compass. Beyond Martin Seligman’s pleasant life of material pleasures, beyond the good life of maximising capability and achievement to the meaningful life characterised by connectedness to a greater whole.

I am not sure yet why I am connecting these diverse events – the good old days, Midnight in Paris, Sam Hunt and the meaningful life, but it’ll come as we continue.

I don’t always have it, but I have enough of a sense of the meaningful life to value it, want it and know that it is my key to happiness.  I’m honoured to have such a reputable firm as PwC take a chance on me to make a difference for them and add value both to them and their clients. I’ll try my best to do so.

Midnight in Paris reminded me to treasure the meaning I already have, and the meaning I am once again starting to build in a new place.  But starting new isn’t really starting new. It’s building on what exists and all the meaning I have built in leadership development, before that in investigation, and more recently connecting with Sam, is part of that base.

It was scary, but now it’s exciting and much more connected. Whatever you do, connect it with what brings meaning. Otherwise, why do it?

There’s a line: meaning for happiness. Maybe that should have been the title of the blog.

Stephen

Blistering Barnacles! It’s a new year

Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson have done a fine job with The Adventures of Tintin. Every Tintinophile including me will recognise the mixing and mingling of original stories to create this first of three movies. Some missing bits and some bits merged. The important sentiment and sense that has been Tintin for me for almost 5 decades is brought to life with fine humour and non-stop action. I’m pretty sure Herge would have been proud.

It’s day four of 2012 and there are rumblings of people back to work – you can feel it – actually you can see it in the emails being replied to after a respectable pause over the break.

That Holiday Sense for me

What is a holiday? Driving in the country today a herd of dairy cows walking in a line sharply brought back a memory of a boy-time holiday on dairy-farmer Uncle George’s farm. That was a real holiday! The surf, a barbeque, reading a new and interesting book on a new and as yet unexplored topic all mean holidays for me too. I struggle to get that sense to start with and I don’t mind admitting it hasn’t quite arrived yet, but I feel it might tomorrow. Really!

I’m back to work – or should I say off to my new work – on Monday week so that holiday sense better get here pretty bloody soon, or else. Christmas has been and gone – I enjoy the anticipation and the 26th even more! I visited my parents in Christchurch, somehow missing the worst of the recent quakes and connected with family as best as I could on a brief visit. I’ve done some work and although there will be a little more to do, the sense of the holiday is upon me.

That invisible feeling of being on holiday that means reflection, true perspective on what matters and a genuine recharge of the energy. That’s right a run tomorrow! Second of the year.

Like making the Tintin movie, you just know when you’ve got it. I hope you’ve had or are having it. Otherwise, blistering barnacles, go and see Tintin with Captain Haddock. That’s a holiday feeling definitely here, thinking about that!

Stephen