Category: Authentic Leadership

Muscle up for the good times

“So Dad, if I bought some dumb bells and a swiss ball I could probably do most of the weights I need to, do you think?”. “That’s right Thomas, as I’ve said many times you might be taller but it’s winning the arm wrestle that counts!”.  The race is on, I’ll just have to keep running so I’m not tested as I’m pretty sure the day will come…..

I keep thinking about story telling. When group members want stories from each other what always comes out are stories that are positive. I see that people have a desire to talk to their strengths and they take the positive experiences from what they have got from life. Not every part of every story is positive – there are tragedies and negative experiences on the way through – but (am I allowed to say But!) the building of leadership experiences is in this sort of forum based on strengths and positives.

Dad was contemplating with me today about how he could write up his childhood as two stories, both believable, both in part true.

His words of what made him today: “the love and protection of my parents, feeling secure, school days and the friends there, play time after school, making our own kites and the thrill of getting them to fly in the park, the  kindly church people who took an interest in us boys, celebrating birthdays and Christmas, picnics, visiting Sumner beach by tram, going to the annual Industries Fair, etc. etc.“. He then said he could focus on the negative things – I’m sure sadness with his father dying while he was in his teens would feature, but would in the end be a source of strength. I notice that he didn’t give me any of this negative detail, and that’s common when people are asked for their stories in a growing and empowering environment.

I don’t subscribe to those  pearly white teeth TV host type feel-good yeah yeah yeah, think positive and you WILL be bullshit. I do subscribe to strength-based reflection such as Marcus Buckingham promotes.

As leaders, bringing the best out in our teams is part and parcel of authentic leadership. And to do that authentically, how about a dosage of stories, the lessons of which are part of the strengths we bring to the table?

If negativity is setting in, having the courage to stop and say “well that’s not my experience” when it’s sounding like a downward spiral of experience that isn’t going to help anyone grow or learn is sometimes all it needs to get back on track.

I’ll be running (scared!) from now on, seeing as Thomas has my swiss ball and all those weights.

We all have our strengths and the stories will reveal them if we choose. Maybe an ultra-marathon one day.

Stephen

Don’t stop me now!

So is the title of the Queen song. Inspired by the New Zealand movie Love Birds which made me laugh and cry at the same time I’ve had a serious and sudden desire to listen to all things Queen. No, not the head of state but the Freddie Mercury one. Doug, played by Rhys Darby gets dumped by his long-time girlfriend ‘cos he’s too boring. A fanatic of Queen, the movie features lots of Queen and great shots of an Auckland you’d be proud to call home.

Yesterday, I helped a group of Masters students get ready for a presentation today. Everyone is winding them up – the client, themselves, the other groups – and it seemed that their 20 minutes of fame followed by 5 minutes of Q&A was an Everest event. Practicing the words, understanding the jargon, suggestions to drug one of the panelists by their helpful lecturer all combined to raise anxiety. Actually they’re quite confident sounding so I coached them around being themselves, not reading stuff out (we can do that ourselves you know!) and making a stand: What actually are you recommending? (a surprisingly common oversight).

Yesterday at a senior management meeting someone forgot what they wanted to say “well I can’t say it now can I!” or something, he said. Exactly. So what? We laughed and realised our own imperfections. Yes we’ve all forgotten something we really thought we wanted to say, or do. Damn, forgot to make a recommendation on what we were asked!

Can you forget to be yourself? Yes, it seems, and usually by people who aren’t. Advice advice advice about this, that, tactics, long winded rants about what you NEED to do, all by people who are supposedly leading groups to grow.

Actually they’ve probably got no idea about what the motives and preferences of the people being presented to are – just throw out some stuff to them, say lots of technical stuff, get ready to wiz them with technical jargon, make sure you stand tall and confident. Practice the words and get them right.

What a load of shit.  Be yourself, engage from what you know – if someone advising you about a presentation doesn’t have anything insightful to say about the people you’re talking to, find someone else to help you. And if you can’t, who cares, trust yourself. What’s the worst thing that can happen? People will see the real you in all your frailties and with any sort of luck, you’ll forget something you meant to say. And then you’ll have ’em.

Once you’re going then you’re unstoppable.

Don’t stop me now!

Stephen

A military head of state

He or she might technically be just our head of state’s representative, but with a grandson’s wedding, a playboy son and other important affairs of state to worry about in England for our actual head of state, the Governor General is as good as we get.

Without doubt it has to be a leadership role, our head of state. There’s some ceremonies to facilitate, many with a feel-good factor, some to appoint cabinet ministers and patron of a number of charities. I’d like to see someone who inspires us as a nation to grow.

Outside of New Zealand I doubt many people would know who our Governor General is. Can you name the Governor General of  Australia? Or Canada? How about Fiji? Do they have one still?

Managing the Army and later the Defence Force is a big job and our next GG appears to have run operations pretty satisfactorily. When we saw him under pressure like the appointment of Stephen Wilce, he had it investigated thoroughly and  promptly assigned the blame to those officers who had stuffed up. Not a good look to have someone associated with the Defence with a fake CV, but it wasn’t his fault. Did the handling of it feel political to you? It did to me and that’s a little uncomfortable, for an apolitical appointee.

Leadership is all about context. A few signals, a strategic view given. What will it look like outside New Zealand to anyone that cares to ask: Soldier as head of state?

Not sure at all.

Underwhelmed. But winter’s coming. Makes me dream of a holiday in Fiji.

Stephen

Consumed by a role

If you work in a large organisation as I do you might experience from time to time, this thing, sometimes referred to as bureaucracy. I quite like the word bureau, sounds like a solid agency, slightly upmarket who know what they do. Add a misspelt crazy on the end of it and you have a range of behaviours and stories that can form the basis of leadership stories for workshops from here to infinity!

We all get consumed in our own little worlds from time to time, especially when the pressure comes on from the crazy bureau.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of motorway driving lately (aka freeway – see I’m not consumed only in my little world!) and noticed lots of drivers who, especially during mid to late morning when you can briefly drive at the speed limit, enter the motorway and as quickly as they can, but driving quite slowly, more over to the ‘fast’ lane, and stubbornly proceed without any regard to others. What can you do? Flash the lights? Tailgate? Pass on the inside? Breath out and relax? Yes, all of those things. But I’ve started the great role modelling experiment: When I can, no matter whether there’s anyone behind me or not, I move over. That probably sounds obvious if you’re in  Australia or US reading this, but it’s not here in NZ. And I’ve monitored the behaviour of other vehicles, compared to the other techniques. I reckon one in three react to the traditional methods. Two out of three mimic my driving, if I deliberately pull over when I don’t need to.

It’s very easy in the crazy bureau to be consumed by your role and you’ll see it in the language:  “We need to know this for our records” or “You’ll have to fill in this form – we can’t process the claim without that particular form filled in”. I don’t mind admitting I don’t react well to such nonsense. Maybe I’m not suited to the crazy bureau.

But I do know that if we all role model the behaviours we expect of others, it might not always work or have immediate effect, but like the motorway, it’s a start.

Consumed by your role, or a role model?

Stephen