I like what you said, but say this next time. I really liked the way you did this, but in future could you watch out for that. This has been a great day, but if only it didn’t rain. I loved that movie, but it was a shame that it finished so early.

Does but have a place in your leadership conversation? Do you notice the but in language around you? Maybe you’re a but person.

Giving empowering feedback, being positive when you can be are really important parts of growing leaders. Following it up with an empowering message about how to take the next step to grow even more is encouraging and a coaching opportunity to grab hold of when you can.

Adding a but after the encouragement is negative and makes the next part of the conversation sound like the real reason for the conversation. Which it probably is if you’re a but person.

And don’t think you can simply change but for however! I won’t let you off the hook and neither will the person receiving the feedback.

A short blog about a short word.

Watch out for it – if but is coming out when you could be empowering, ask yourself – what am I trying to do here?

I’d say it’ll say more about you than the other person.

No ifs or buts about it! (sorry had to do that)


Really glad you took our talk about getting on the bus to heart and next time we could even try to get the strategy going without buying a bus

4 thoughts on “But

  1. ‘However’ Is that the academic version of but? Used in boring essays and reports? How many thousands of those have I read and marked! Glad I don’t have to do that anymore. Takes energy out of the writing. . .
    I took some time out from writing a report at work to make myself a 3 page list of powerful, words to express authenticity and congruence for myself. That was an energising experience and changed the course of events of my day.

    Thank you Stephen. I enjoy reading your blogs and appreciate your sharing your thoughts and ideas with us.


  2. But, I don’t use BUT …. unless it is referring to a specific part of anatomy that may require kicking… mine or others in which case the spelling would change. ..

    Being silly here, but I really like this blog on BUT or on No BUT and am becoming more and more aware of the language we use to create our reality and its effects. Love it.


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