Author: Stephen Drain

Hi everyone, I am a Partner in PwC in Auckland New Zealand. I lead PwC Forensics Services and support PwC Partner Leadership Development. My particular area of focus in leadership is Authenticity.

Death on holiday

It was the sight of raw grief on the edge of the forest near the little shopping centre at Matarangi as family and friends of the young man found dead kept vigil while the police did their business. There was a strange stillness with a couple of dozen police, lots of police cars, police talking in hushed tones, distant from the family. A stern, strangely familiar nod as I ran past. Wonder why they don’t ask me if I saw anything. Afterall, I might have been running yesterday.

Out on the highway, it was hot. You notice the empathetic drivers – some give you the entire lane if they can – while others assume the lane is theirs and runners and cyclists need to fit in what they don’t use up. Lots of police cars coming and going in and out of the township – they fall halfway between, giving you some room, but not a lot. You can hear their high speed tyres, almost as noisy as a four-wheel-drive.

Nearly 7ks out it was getting too hot so I stopped for a drink to see the funeral director’s stationwagon, speeding like there was no tomorrow. Strange, what could be the rush? And hasn’t he seen enough death to know what can happen when you push the limits? But I know that adrenalin-fuelled urgency from my days in the police, where you drove fast and sure-footed to and from the sober, still, scene of death. Something about death made you confuse importance with urgency, and urgency always won.

So, it was a death on holiday for the young man. Similar age to my big boys. Everyone agreed “how would you cope?”, “it’s tragic”. We feel it. We understand the grief and are secretly relieved it’s not someone we know. So what can we do to make value out of such a tragedy. If we came across someone in distress, would we call for help? Even if they said they were alright? I hope we would. We promised ourselves we would.

Give them all the space they need, but we’re on this distant planet all alone with only each other to rely on. Let’s make it a promise to look after each other. If we don’t, what then?

Stephen

Leading 2011

New Zealand leads the world in at least one thing. Time. So let’s get a jump on the rest of the world each morning in 2011 and show them we can be authentic and lead in what really matters for our communities and organisations in 2011.

What really matters to you? Are you authentic enough to do something about it?

Happy 2011 (and for me it’s time to say it “twenty eleven”, not that other way!)

Stephen

Taking your friends into a new year

Family often get talked about, or that is my sense, in my blogs here. I wrote a blog of lessons on the first day of 2010 and when I started thinking about a blog for the last day of the year I thought I’d go back to the very beginning and see where I was at. I started 2010 thinking about happiness, authenticity, running and leading without waiting for the superhero to save or do for you.

On reflection, they were good things to start the year on and I’m going to take them through to next year. Family was big this year (is it ever not) but I had meaningful conversations with siblings, children and parents about all sorts of things and as a result family relationships definitely feel richer.

I’m going to keep connected to family and I’m going to grow my relationships with friends. I’m sure I’ve neglected some and that’s been at times when I’ve been so busy that it hasn’t felt like there is time. Somewhere in that equation, happiness fell away when it got too busy or the friendly chats stopped. I’m not sure if we drew a causal loop on that where it would start and finish, but it doesn’t matter.

I’m going to lead myself into 2011 being myself, I don’t need to mention the superhero again, but I will be mindful of friends along with my family.

That’s got to be a happy place to say happy new year!

Stephen

Can’t it be Christmas already?

Today, my friend Mahvash asked me if I had bought all the pressies I intended to. I responded that I had one left to purchase and asked her the same question. She explained that as a Muslim she doesn’t do Christmas, so I figured that actually the answer was, yes, she had done all the gifts she was intending, like none. Well she did ask me!

I’ve got a big list on my whiteboard, most of which have been completed enough for this year, and what’s not done, isn’t going to be and the sky won’t fall in come 2011 if they haven’t (lucky I don’t work in an ED).

When I blogged recently I commented on the traffic and today it’s even more manic.  Hot, humid, busy and a strong feeling of  rushing to complete. Completion can be satisfying and I’m sure my boys wouldn’t be too impressed if come the 25th I hadn’t got around to getting their gifts yet! But the sense that prevails at this moment is counter to happiness.  No, you don’t need to spend all your life in reflection, things need to be done of course, but how we react to the so-called Christmas rush can be telling of our balance and perspective.

The unnecessary purchases (Help! the shops will be closed on one whole day), the patience or otherwise in the store or carpark, the reckless abandonment of agreed purchasing limits! Yes I’ve been there, but this year I promised myself – only use the EFTPOS, no credit card and don’t buy anything for myself. It’ll be there on the 26th still.

These are only small nothings in the scheme of things and might not even be relevant to others, but what I’ve been trying to do is keep myself centered and authentic. I’m really looking forward to time for reading, running and resting.

And Christmas needn’t come too soon or too late. It’ll come whether you’re ready or not.  So don’t wish Christmas to be either delayed or here already. It’s an annual opportunity to be yourself and embrace a day with those that matter in a mindful, peaceful, but not too full I hope, way. Like Mahvash, some people don’t do it. And for them I wish them the same – a mindful day with loved ones.

Merry Christmas.

Stephen