Tag: wise leadership

Geloso

It’s the Italian word for jealous. There’s something much more appealing about a jealous Italian love story than the nasty everyday variety. Or may be it’s the disconnection from such an event that makes it sound softer.

I was reading a blog over the weekend on being grateful. It’s a great topic to explore and then to remind ourselves about being grateful for what we have, as opposed to being anxious about what we don’t have, or geloso of others’ things or situations.

If you read the comments on a New Zealand on-line news article, there’s a good chance that the vast majority of contributors have something to complain about. And maybe they do. But I’m sure, like all of us, they also have plenty to be grateful for, despite injustices and unfairness.

So why the complaining? Why the geloso (on occasion)? I’m not sure I know the answer to this any more than anyone else does. But in watching leaders and others I know, those who don’t complain and who aren’t jealous appear more content, more at peace, and happier.

You might say that those that display these characteristics don’t have so much to complain about, and you could be right.

But you could be wrong for yourself. Being grateful in my experience requires less energy, doesn’t require justification, can disarm, and give that most important of gifts to yourself. The freedom to move on without holding something that you most likely can’t change.

Many of the respondents to the blog I read “accused” the author of living a life without challenges. They could be right.

I suggest you try out being grateful next time you’re confronted with something which brings up the unfairness or jealousy gene. Just try it. Even to yourself, but even better out loud to others.

The weekend is a great place to start trying it out. It’s only 4 days away. Now that’s something to be thankful for!

Stephen

Barry White

Now that I’ve got your attention (or not!), it was almost inevitable that Barry would enter my blog world one day. I got caught out by a colleague yesterday – Barry was on the car-connected iPod – but he was fine with that. Abba’s been in the car this week too “don’t go wasting your emotion”  from the song “Lay all your love on me”.

One of my very special friends had an important birthday this last weekend.  We talked about our aspirations and what it takes to achieve them.  Change.  If you’re bothered to read this you will know that if you want to change you need to change.   It sounds so obvious of course but that simple reality cannot be ignored in making changes in our lives. But often is.

Barry White’s final album has the song Get up which asks the question about what reward you get for doing nothing. Written for idle youth it has as much relevance to us all as we aspire to be all we can.  Work can consume us (it is me right now!) but so can all sorts of activities – tv, making sure the drive is swept (again), computer games – are just some examples of ways in which is we can whittle away special time.

If we want to lead anyone we need to lead ourselves and making change, whatever that might be takes a conscious effort, giving some things up and doing something new.  And sometimes, the change required is made available right before us and we don’t even recognise it.  Who’s ended up in a new role because of an opportunity  that’s come quite informally and unexpectedly? I have and I count myself fortunate for that. And what I learned is that you need to be ready for it, and don’t expect it to come with big signage accompanying it, because the opportunity provided by a change will come subtly, if you’re ready for it, and active.

In Get up Barry’s answer is “nothing, you don’t get a damn thing”.

Stephen

p.s. Should I keep politics out of this blog?  I’ve done religion before so what the hell!  Just 5% of Democrats reckon Romney will do better than Obama in the upcoming debates.  But 18% of Republicans say Obama will do better. Authenticity might have something to do with it I think. And the Authentic Leadership Course is coming up. I’m going to enjoy being there again.  Looking forward.

These are the good old days part II!

I bounded up the stairs just now at home having returned from the movies alone. At my farewell lunch with colleagues from AUT just before Christmas I was taken to blog about the good old days. Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris explores both the glorious beauty of Paris and the good old days. On his midnight strolls through Paris whilst visiting with his fiance and future in-laws, Gil Pender, a screenwriter and budding author,  travels back to the good old days. He finds himself mixing with Hemmingway, Picasso and others. Okay, so it’s not real, but hell, you don’t go to the movies for reality!

It’s a delightful romantic comedy and I can’t believe it took me so long to see it. This week I started my new role at PwC. There’s been grief from parting and finishing and wondering whether I was living in the good old days these last few years. Now I know I was for certain.

In the last year or so I’ve come to know a very special man, the poet Sam Hunt, and now be privileged to help him to find more places to perform to those that would appreciate him. He offers much to those seeking to find their grounding and understand their moral compass. Beyond Martin Seligman’s pleasant life of material pleasures, beyond the good life of maximising capability and achievement to the meaningful life characterised by connectedness to a greater whole.

I am not sure yet why I am connecting these diverse events – the good old days, Midnight in Paris, Sam Hunt and the meaningful life, but it’ll come as we continue.

I don’t always have it, but I have enough of a sense of the meaningful life to value it, want it and know that it is my key to happiness.  I’m honoured to have such a reputable firm as PwC take a chance on me to make a difference for them and add value both to them and their clients. I’ll try my best to do so.

Midnight in Paris reminded me to treasure the meaning I already have, and the meaning I am once again starting to build in a new place.  But starting new isn’t really starting new. It’s building on what exists and all the meaning I have built in leadership development, before that in investigation, and more recently connecting with Sam, is part of that base.

It was scary, but now it’s exciting and much more connected. Whatever you do, connect it with what brings meaning. Otherwise, why do it?

There’s a line: meaning for happiness. Maybe that should have been the title of the blog.

Stephen

Leadership Legacy

We visited Waikumete Cemetery today on the Wisdom Retreat. I wasn’t sure exactly what we would uncover but putting ourselves in the environment was going to be important in drawing out the nuggets.

Projecting ourselves forward to help us look back at what we want to be was powerful.  We visited the Erebus Memorial and the grave of a VC recipient who fought in both World Wars. Wise leadership starts with ourselves and those on the Programme brought a richness of experience and insight that I could not have anticipated.

It was windy by the soldiers grave but the rain stayed away which got us talking about our own experiences with those that have gone; and what the limited time on the planet means for all of us.

We need to ensure that what we want to do and be known for, we get on with.  Leadership can be developed and grown, from tactical, to strategic, to authentic and wise. Others watching rightly judge our leadership on what we do under pressure and in times of crisis. We saw that reflected with Air New Zealand 30 years ago. What we have seen recently is the company making amends.

Seeking understanding to build a platform for forgiveness cannot properly begin until an offending party acknowledges a wrong – as Air New Zealand has done.

This recipient of the VC from action in France in 1918 had certainly shown leadership.  We could see that in his story. Was it just because of where he was? Probably in part, but would everybody be ready to lead in the circumstances he found himself in? I’d say no.

So what will our legacy be? It will be partially built already but that most important moment might be from what comes up tomorrow, or next week or next year. Who knows. So we need to be ready with our Ethical Compass strong, our mind and body resilient and an ability to be Present at just the moment we need it.

Stephen