Aibileen and Minny are maids in the movie The Help. They live in Jackson, Mississippi – as in Johnny Cash and June Carter’s duet of the same name– in the 1960s. With segregation enshrined by law, the women raise all the white kids as defacto mothers, while the birth mothers, although raised by the same maids, treat them largely with disdain and, pretty much like slaves.
A courageous young white woman, Skeeter, decides to tell the stories of The Help. She’s not the only courageous one of course. Aibileen, Minny and all the other maids who collaborate show exceptional courage against their own immediate interests to tell their stories. Stories of love, hate, of raising numerous kids, of missing out on their own children’s upbringing and of not being able to use the toilets in the house, ‘cos they had the wrong skin colour.
I read an article today about simplicity in leadership. It struck a chord with me, so I’ll keep this blog short and simple.
Being courageous requires doing the right thing, often against self interest and immediate gain or acceptance. Authenticity. What will you do today that is courageous?
My favourite All Black and one who has usually not failed to provide success for me in the “score a try” bet is Mils Muliaina. It seemed like half the country were concerned about who the number 15 should be and how obvious to everyone that it had to be the new younger Israel Dagg and not the vastly experienced but apparently aging Mils (oh to be 31!). Check him out here on the All Blacks site – his rugby career is truly impressive. You’ll also learn that his real name is Malili.
When All Black coach Graham Henry selected Dagg ahead of Mils he described it as one of the hardest and most emotional decisions of his coaching career. Henry has been involved through much of Mils’ first class career and in that moment we caught a glimpse of tenderness and compassion in leadership, so often put to one side. After all this is Rugby,
The photo here catches the mood perfectly. It shows the wonderful leadership relationship between an older mentor and a younger high performing and deeply respectful mentee. I can feel the pain for them both.
Mils for his part (I hope no-one minds me calling him by his first name even though I’ve never met him) said that all he wanted is for the All Blacks to win. He would happily do that from the field, the bench or the stands. Amazing maturity and team commitment.
Whether he gets to 100 test caps or not, he’s an inspiration for leaders and teams everywhere. And Henry, for showing his tenderness showed why you never ever hear of dissention in the All Blacks these days. Honest, caring and driven. That’s a recipe for success. We saw that all come together with the best rugby skills on the planet on Saturday.
Freedom is important to me. It’s probably more important to me than, say democracy though I once thought that one followed the other. When you travel through the airport of a democratic country you can wonder.
There’s only one political party in China – the other one went to Taiwan and has stayed there ever since. For many years China wasn’t a free place and that was synonymous with not being democratic. Even now if you step over the line, break the rules it’s a pretty big whack that’s coming your way. It’s still not democratic, but I’m not sure that worries too many people there, because they are free.
No need to be foggy. Name the behaviour.
Work often isn’t democratic either. I don’t get to vote on many aspects of life at AUT, but I can have input of course where it’s relevant. But I’m pretty free. While I run a commercial operation there is freedom that accompanies that responsibility and commitment. One thing I’ve noticed in many people who have difficulties with leaders is punishment. Toxic leaders punish those around them. Of course it’s not called that, but it should be. If someone says untrue things to those important to you or subtly removes a right or privilege without proper consultation or reason, that’s called punishment.
Come to think of it the incident I laughed about with a friend the other day and mentioned in my last blog was a post-employment attempt at punishment. I’ve seen more than enough of that to see it for what it is. Some so-called leaders, having failed at re-wiring their team-member to behave as they want them to, resort to punishment to, well punish! I guess that’s all they know about.
Authentic leaders don’t feel the need or want to re-wire their team. In fact such a proposition is oxymoronic to authenticity. Authenticity is allowing strengths to grow, embracing what we all bring to achieve the business or other outcome.
In China yesterday a young man living in New Zealand from China, Xiao Zhen, was found guilty of killing taxi driver and father Hiren Mohini in Auckland. This was a very unusual case as the crime was committed in New Zealand but the trial was in China. China agreed that if he was found guilty Zhen wouldn’t be executed and so New Zealand and China agreed to conduct the trial in Shanghai. China respected that we don’t execute criminals and we respected the Chinese system of justice.
Zhen has begun his punishment, properly deserved and China proved that it might not be democratic but it exhibits characteristics I think are a step in the right direction. If you visit China it hardly feels different than in the west for freedom. Maybe more so in parts.
So how’s all this connected? Leaders want freedom for themselves. There’s a pretty good chance that those around you in your team also want it. Even the government of China has worked that out (and that it can lead to economic prosperity like I’m working at too). If you’re a leader who embraces the freedom for yourself but seeks to rewire and punish those who won’t play, go and read Animal Farm. It’s about you more than say China!
Mahmud Omid Djalili is a Muslim living in London with his wife and family in the movie The Reluctant Infidel. He discovers much to horror, that he was born to Jewish parents and adopted by a Muslim Pakastani family when he was two weeks old. The anguish of how to deal with this including how to tell ones loved ones. Especially when his son’s future father-in-law is a radical cleric from Egypt and needs to give approval for the wedding.
We all gain at least part of our sense of who we are from our ethnicity, our parents and our culture and possibly the religion of our parents and community. But what if there was a missing link on the way through like there was for Mahmud? Would your whole sense of being be brought into disarray? Does it matter?
As it turns out (and we know this), Mahmud discovers it’s the same god, that actually Muslims and Jews have much in common and in the end he’s still the same father, businessman, husband and friend he was before he knew about his birth parents. Only he’s nicer. Aware of the absurdity of forced demarcation we get from religion, he brings the two together with new understanding and tolerance.
It’s a comedy, or more particularly a farce, but it’s got a great lesson in leadership about finding commonality by seeing through artificial contrivances and having the ability to laugh at ourselves.
Stephen Drain's Leadership Blog 