Loving the extra hour!

I woke up early this morning for a Sunday and even earlier ‘cos it’s the end of Daylight Saving. I read quite a bit at 6.30 this morning from Zite – the on-line magazine you tailor to suit your interests (and prejudices too no doubt!) – including a piece about happiness and the need for us all to play without a goal. Like kids do. And on your hands and knees sometimes.

Martin Seligman, the author of “Authentic Happiness” is quoted as saying the three pillars of mental health are love, work and play.

I’ve seen an awful lot of work lately, come to think of it I always have. Why do we work so hard? Or you might think work so poorly that you have to spend way too much time at work. Which could be true. Work can be play of course and can bring satisfaction.

If, on the other hand we’re working hard for money because we believe at one level that that will bring happiness then it might be worth thinking about Martin Seligman’s other work on positive psychology. He talks about three life states: the pleasant life (things) the good life (discovering our unique strengths) and the meaningful life (finding a meaning for our life greater than just us).

Money gives us the pleasant life. Work gives us money. But neither can give us the good life or the meaningful life on its own.

An extra hour gave me some play, a hint of the good life (whether it’s any good or not I’ve blogged again!) and even some time to reflect on meaning.

I’m loving the extra hour!

Stephen

Aida Fa’aeteete is a remarkable leader

On 30 June last year Duncan Meek made a terrible error on the Southern Motorway in Auckland and collided with the Fa’aeteete family van.  Mr Fa’aeteete was killed leaving Mrs Fa’aeteete instantly widowed with a son, a daughter, granddaughter and another on the way.

I admit to reading the news and being somewhat immune to it all.   It’s not often I feel particularly moved but the story in the NZ Herald about Duncan Meek’s sentencing and Mrs Fa’aeteete moved me.

“To err is human, to forgive is divine,” Mrs Fa’aeteete told the court. “If Petelo was here he would say that it’s done. Learn from it and don’t do it again.”  She continued: “We met with Duncan Meek. His monumental loss of concentration had dark consequences – it caused the death of our beloved Petelo. His remorseful demeanour left me no option than to live by Petelo’s legacy to be forgiving.”

Mrs Fa’aeteete hugged Mr Meek in court, cried and told him to not do it again.

Where did Aida Fa’aeteete get such strength to forgive?  I don’t really know, but probably in part from her late beloved Petelo.  I’m sure Mr Meek’s remorse had something to do with it too.

Mrs Fa’aeteete is a remarkable woman who shows extraordinary leadership.  The courts are full of revenge dressed up as justice while we have the people, the will and the resources to truly move on with justice that restores peace through forgiveness and being heard.

We can all learn from Mr Fa’aeteete, more so than she thinks possible I reckon.  Such powerful actions, unplanned and genuine. She get’s the last word today: “My husband was a forgiving person. I will forgive Duncan once, I just hope he learns from it. If we achieve that, and he doesn’t do it again and if someone else learns from this, then that’s more than enough for me.”

Stephen

First Night

It’s been a bit of a first night for me these last 7 weeks getting used to my new role and lots of things have suffered in the meantime, including my blogging here which I enjoy so much.  But I’m back.  A bit of time out of Auckland recently has seen me flying much more than I’m used to and if you know me you’ll know that it’s not something I’ve enjoyed recently but even that’s going okay somehow.  Conditioning.

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Sarah Brightman is the First Night - but she doesn't sing much (photo courtesy of http://www.littlewhitelies.co.uk)

The movie First Night is a farce. A funny movie set in the beautiful Manderston House in Scotland.  Always wanted a two kilometre long stone driveway.  I used to listen to lots of opera but haven’t much lately. I think I’m into it again after First Night. It’s about the production of Mozart’s comic opera Cosi Fan Tutte and it’s glorious music, great setting and very funny too.

Sometimes you just need a feel good movie to get you back on track.  As I let the story glide over me I realised these last seven weeks have been pretty intensive. Now it’s time to get back to being happy for myself, now that I’m settling in.  And enjoy life.

That’s leadership. Leading yourself into a great spot.

I’ll be better tomorrow for it.  Hope it’s all good for you too.

Stephen

The basement at Ballantynes

My son Thomas and Dad were in the basement of Ballantynes a year ago when the earthquake struck. I’ll never forget that frantic 10 minutes after getting a text from Mum “bad stake, I hope Tom and Dad are ok”.  Bloody predictive text – I didn’t realise at first what she meant.

I went down there after Christmas, down to the basement at Ballantynes I mean and checked it out. I sat there and reflected on what was a what could have been for my family. Lucky we all were, with people killed only a few dozen metres away.

Thomas has just returned from Europe, engaged to be married, and I don’t mind admitting I like having him safely back home. It felt especially poignant today thinking about a year ago when I felt, for a short time, absolutely powerless and anxious for him and Dad.

There was a lot of luck a year ago. Bad luck and good luck. We got the good one but it’s people just like us all that died.

I hope that those who are bereaved find some peace soon.

Stephen