Category: Personal Development

Being 49

It’s a scam!  The whole year “I’ll be 50 next birthday” or “50 next year”.  Hell, whatever happened to being in my forties! That ended on turning 49 I’ve realised.  Wished I knew that then, but then again I guess I entered my forties a year early too. My Tim turned 20 this month, Dad turned 80 and my parents were married today 60 years ago. A card signed by Elizabeth R, another from the GG, one from the PM, one from the Minister of Internal Affairs (something not right about those words being involved in celebrating an honest and enduring relationship!) and finally Mum and Dad’s local MP. So a collection of cards, good wishes on Facebook and no doubt elsewhere and they will awake tomorrow in their 61st year of marriage, almost as irritatingly healthy as they’ve been for as long as I’ve known them!  Which is 49, well nearly 50, years, give or take a few years of not really knowing what’s going on.

So don’t hang around for too long not knowing what’s going on – that’s for when you’re 2 years old – not today, waiting for whatever is going on to be done to you. A milestone is a cause for others to celebrate a special person or people – to reflect on their achievements – and on all that they have brought into others lives. For my folks that’s quite a lot for quite a lot of people and I couldn’t be blessed with better parents. Not perfect, but then again who of us is, and whatever we’ve done if we’ve learned, grown and done our best to reconcile differences and appreciate blessings, we deserve to be happy.  And my Tim who has had all sorts of challenges, achieving an A- result in a paper made all those around him very proud, especially me. That’s one of the best things to celebrate in this month of milestones.  Well done Tim!

A milestone is also the moment to reflect on your own stuff. If you’re too busy to reflect I know what you mean. That’s pretty well me all the time.  But it’s also pretty well me most of the time to be happy too which is what I intend to take into my next decade – which starts with the next moment.

Which is of course all you really have. But those moments, taken, will guarantee you 20, 50, 60 or even 80 years of self-fulfilment. If you take them one at a time.  So being 49? Great actually. Now that I’m in the moment.

And happy celebration if that’s your thing too this month!  November? Lovin’ it as always.

Stephen

Barry White

Now that I’ve got your attention (or not!), it was almost inevitable that Barry would enter my blog world one day. I got caught out by a colleague yesterday – Barry was on the car-connected iPod – but he was fine with that. Abba’s been in the car this week too “don’t go wasting your emotion”  from the song “Lay all your love on me”.

One of my very special friends had an important birthday this last weekend.  We talked about our aspirations and what it takes to achieve them.  Change.  If you’re bothered to read this you will know that if you want to change you need to change.   It sounds so obvious of course but that simple reality cannot be ignored in making changes in our lives. But often is.

Barry White’s final album has the song Get up which asks the question about what reward you get for doing nothing. Written for idle youth it has as much relevance to us all as we aspire to be all we can.  Work can consume us (it is me right now!) but so can all sorts of activities – tv, making sure the drive is swept (again), computer games – are just some examples of ways in which is we can whittle away special time.

If we want to lead anyone we need to lead ourselves and making change, whatever that might be takes a conscious effort, giving some things up and doing something new.  And sometimes, the change required is made available right before us and we don’t even recognise it.  Who’s ended up in a new role because of an opportunity  that’s come quite informally and unexpectedly? I have and I count myself fortunate for that. And what I learned is that you need to be ready for it, and don’t expect it to come with big signage accompanying it, because the opportunity provided by a change will come subtly, if you’re ready for it, and active.

In Get up Barry’s answer is “nothing, you don’t get a damn thing”.

Stephen

p.s. Should I keep politics out of this blog?  I’ve done religion before so what the hell!  Just 5% of Democrats reckon Romney will do better than Obama in the upcoming debates.  But 18% of Republicans say Obama will do better. Authenticity might have something to do with it I think. And the Authentic Leadership Course is coming up. I’m going to enjoy being there again.  Looking forward.

That moment

When Li Cunxin was seven, for no more reason than a look and a glance he was given the opportunity to audition for the Beijing Ballet Company. The rest is history and if you’re not sure who I’m talking about yet he’s popularly known as Mao’s Last Dancer, from his book and movie of the same name.

Meeting Li this week I discovered a man with all the same stuff we all have: worry about the kids, how to earn a living and strain on the relationships during tough times. But he’s also a man who’s learned and reflected on what leads to personal and professional success. And importantly what you might do if you want to make a change for yourself.

Li was the sixth of seven children growing up in poverty in rural China in the 1960s when the freak moment changed his life forever and he grew to take the world stage in ballet.

He had lots of messages but by far the most powerful message was about recognising that moment of opportunity and going for it. Seizing the moment and giving it your all. MCing a Gala Dinner of 300 last night I relayed a little of Li’s story and asked those present to reflect on moments of opportunity they have been given. Did you take it? I recall as an eight year old playing rugby for Linwood Rugby Club (Fergie McCormack!). Well to be honest I was on the pitch with the jersey on but I was way too scared to go near the action! The ball somehow come towards me and the try line was within sight. I guess the offside rule wasn’t strictly enforced but that’s not important. Should I pick up the ball and all the fear that went with that? I didn’t, I kicked it cos I was too scared. I can still remember the utter look of disappointment on the coach’s face. Stayed with me that look, for forty years. And troubled me occasionally, until this week.

I never did do that again I’ve realised. I’ve always grabbed the things given to me and hopefully made a reasonable go of it. Quite a few opportunities have come my way and I’m pretty sure more will and I’ll grab them too.

Which is what Li has always done. Leaders can see the future and recognise outcomes that other’s fail to see. Personal leaders recognise opportunities for what they are. They won’t usually be wrapped in a gift box or with flashing lights. And that’s the challenge. Seeing what’s in front of you, picking it up and running hard. Like it’s the one big chance you have.

And if you didn’t take it, you’ve got a valuable lesson to not repeat that mistake again.

Stephen.

Marathon

The commentator for the women’s marathon has just said that if you’re going to be a great marathon runner then you need a great 10k time.  I knew I’d missed something! I remember joking to a friend before my first marathon that it was only four 10k runs – how hard could that be?

Athletes are making history right now and making a legacy to inspire others, including me too, to keep running. Must of us won’t ever make the Olympics, or ever any sort of placing, but if you’re inspired by someone to move, get and stay healthy, then that’s got to be a great thing.

Running a marathon feels like ticking off the kilometre’s one by one,

I’m working on getting back into form again! Are you keeping an eye on the legacy on your marathon?

the five become ten, ten is surprisingly quickly a half, twenty-four, ouch, twenty-eight, and then it hurts. Well it does for me anyway and from thirty-two it’s one or two at a time. But on reflection it’s not the kilometres ticking over I notice, it’s the exhilaration of the entire event and satisfaction that comes from completing a personal challenge.

So collecting things, whether they be miles in a marathon, friends on Facebook or qualifications or whatever, is not what will make the difference. The commentators are now discussing what might be more valuable – an Olympic Gold at London or winning the New York Marathon.  Your resume and history will  be what makes the Olympic marathon the one to go for.

Spending all our days on stuff, collecting things, including wealth is all very nice, but what will your legacy be?  What piece of history will you own that might inspire others and make a difference?

History is in the making at the Olympics and top athletes are making their legacy.  Don’t forget that after the pleasant life, the meaningful life, you’ll want to leave a legacy.  Why?  To fulfil yourself. How? Like a marathon, one piece at at time, but always keeping it part of something bigger.

Stephen