Tag: Negative Leadership Traits

Not our fault

A teenager died in the weekend after attending the King’s College Winter Ball. Much has and will be said about this tragedy, but three things said by leaders from King’s caught my eye: We can’t babysit the students 24 hours a day. True. We don’t need an inquiry to see how the Balls are run. Mmmm. They weren’t drunk and there were no drugs. Right.

A letter to the editor in one of the Sunday newspapers caught my eye too. The writer, a mother from Masterton, said that she didn’t try to be friends with her children when they were growing up, that she saw her parenting role to role-model behaviours that she wanted to instil into her children. Continue reading “Not our fault” →

Get what’s coming to you

I called around to see my friend Adam today and had a cup of tea. The cup had the cover of the Graham Greene thriller Brighton Rock on it. It was timely, as this evening I saw the movie of the same name.

I won’t ruin the story, though you might know it. The film is set in 1964 with beautifully crafted scenes, raw violence, Helen Mirren at her best, John Hurt – well what more needs to be said! – I loved it.  Pinkie, the young gang leader has great edge. I’d be scared of him. He’s dangerous and real. And there’s a naive girl who gets caught up in it all.

Up in California a dangerous old man by the name of Harold Camping convinced a large number of people to spend their life savings promoting the end of the world yesterday. This was all based on detailed calculations he had done from the bible, written as we know between about 4000 BCE and 300 CE. Seems like a long time ago I guess and it is on human terms but on earth terms, when the planet is about 4,500,000,000 years old it’s nothing.  Camping is dangerous because of the impact he can and did have on unsuspecting and naive followers. It’s disturbing leadership at its worst.

Come on out Camping and show your face. No weasel words about getting it wrong – you made it plain that there was no doubt that the end of the world was nigh. What’s coming to you is ridicule and mockery and it’s well deserved. As I said in my blog on Sunday, it’s all luck, and your’s just ran out. You might like to use all your wealth from pumping out the rubbish you do on your “Family Radio” to pay back those that spent all their money on billboards and the like around the world on your scam.

Cult leadership is despicable. Admiration turns to followship which the leader uses for his or her ends, to satisfy ego, control and their own insecurity. If luck goes your way, they’ll get what’s coming to them. Like Harold Camping. I don’t enjoy another’s pain – for a cult leader it’s what they need though to shake their community out of the tragic trap they are in.

Stephen

The Christian Brothers Carpet Cleaning Cult!

Murderous leadership

There’s a big scrap and when the offender is handcuffed and dragged to the police car, there’s always that humourous moment when the police officer, in a moment of compassion, gently places his hand on the suspects head, to make sure he doesn’t hurt it when he enters the cop car. Like I’ll taser you, put you in a headlock, but my friend, don’t knock your head on the rubber seal of the car!

Wanted “dead or alive” said former President Bush after 9/11 when speaking of the terrorist Osama bin laden. You have to admit as unpalatable as it might appear, that he was a very clever man bin Laden. From dusty caves (we thought), he lead a large number of young men to kill themselves while murdering about 3000 others. Like a Texas ranger, the west lead by the US, went hunting for their man. In the years of the hunt an organisation like the world has not known (or has it?) grew and killed (and kills) it seems, at places it can get to, when it can. The objective is clear enough – drive forward a view of how the world should live (suppressed women, old testament rules other religions abolished), vaguely underpinned by fanatical religious beliefs, that I doubt many really believe. Though I guess those young men who drove the aeroplanes into the Trade Towers must have. Pity they will never know how deluded they were. Murderers.

When I heard that bin Laden was dead, or more particularly that he had been killed by US forces, I wondered immediately how it was done – was there a fight? did they execute him? was he bombed? We might never know, but somehow even if it did happen in a fight, it was okay to kill him. I don’t feel the slightest sympathy for the murderer, in fact I feel very strongly about any religious extremism or fundamentalism for the physical and emotional violence that always follows.  I do wonder about the “dead or alive” message that the west sends to the middle east though. The dancing in New York and Washington looked a bit like the celebration in Iran (for example) after 9/11. We might think we’re right, but can we honestly put our hands on our hearts and say that a large number of people in the middle east are dishonest in their beliefs about how the west has treated them? Even if they’ve got it wrong from their dictatorial propaganda machines at home, shouldn’t the west set an example? Or is it easy for me to say ‘cos I didn’t know anyone lost in say 9/11. Maybe, but I bet the pictures of dancing in New York are going down a treat in Libya right now.

Mature and forward thinking leadership will recognise that the signals the west sends to the middle east on killing this murderer, must not include gloating at an ‘eye for an eye’. But when the President of the United States gives a sober and thoughtful delivery about it, and ends with “God Bless America” I groan inside.

It’s the same invisible force that justified 9/11 for the terrorists, justifying America. It’s not needed or helpful. You did the right think America, don’t thank invisible forces, as it’s the same invisible force that’s been used to kill your citizens.

President Obama should take it for himself, for the west and for the middle east and proclaim that justice was delivered, not in an orthodox or civilised way, but in the way that only a mass murderer in hiding could be dealt with. Much of the world will be happy that bin Laden is gone – I am sure that most of the thoughtful citizens of Pakistan are happy about it too. They’ve been tarnished badly by this murderer and his organisation.

And he was buried in accordance with Islamic tradition, that was important the US military said. Really? Will it all be okay when he gets to heaven now!? Or am I totally lacking in understanding of what really matters here. I think the ‘eye for an eye’ dancing in the streets is far more significant for our peace.  Like mind your head as you’re dragged into the cop car.

Can we learn from this? Watch out who you’re fighting for or with. Bin Laden befriended the Taliban who the US helped in driving out the opposing forces. Wonder if that’s being done in Libya now. Hope not. Political leadership that learns and sees patterns (like we can all see happening in Libya now), is the leadership I want.

There we go: religion, politics, a reference to sex via the 72 virgins hoped for and a bloody story of a murdering leader that’s ended.

Stephen

ps the FBI don’t seem to know as he’s still on the top 10 wanted list as of this evening. There’s $25mil up for grabs if you want to tell them.

Run away little soldier boy

There’s a brightly lit cross on the top of Mt Roskill, presumably because it’s Easter soon. I think the cross is there all year, they just light it up at this time of the year. Mt Roskill used to be known as the Bible Belt but I think most of the kids who were brought up in the belt, and no doubt knew that the belt was something to be feared, have moved on. Quite a few years before that when the sect of Judasm gained political backing in Rome, the politicians of the time put together a collection of books that would become the official stories of the new religion. And the Roman execution tool for revenge and torture became a symbol for much of the world, sitting over church buildings, on graves and on Mt Roskill tonight.

I’m helping an older person who’s been trying to get some peace with someone who is angry about something a very long time ago. The problem was supposedly sorted out  – justice was done – and my friend moved on, knowing that although she hadn’t done anything herself, at least there might be some peace to be had.

I’ve noticed in some disfunctional leadership teams, there is sometimes an angry person hanging onto some ancient grevience. You can often do good work with one-on-one coaching in such cases, helping the person to develop a new world view and recognise the anger for what it is. It can be a big challenge though, as the angry person’s instinct is usually for revenge and there are plenty of little soldier boys out there ready to help the sad but vengeful person. As hard as it can be, when you’re confronted with a friend intent on revenge, it’s so important to not get sucked into it. I was talking to my friend Richard Kerr-Bell this evening who says that people intent on revenge ultimately exhibit signs of psychotic behaviour if unchecked – it’s as though the functioning brain narrows to a slice of it’s usual size and lets no insight in that could grapple with the underlying cause of the anger. And colleagues can easily be drawn into the revenge, as when you’re only operating on a slither of your usual cognitive abilities, your normal happy functions are just not there. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked in like a little soldier boy, thinking it’s helping.

As I write this I’m watching an episode of Seinfeld about revenge. Kramer is filling up a washing machine at the laundromat with concrete mix in revenge for cash that apparently went missing from Jerry’s laundry bag. Meanwhile George is going to spike his boss’ drink to get back at him for putting him down in a meeting. The chinese have a saying that if you want revenge, first dig two graves. George needs a new job now, as you might imagine.

Unfortunately, my friend’s problem person has a little soldier boy “helping out” who seems to specialise in sustaining revenge for as long as possible. Do you think it’s helping? Of course not. All that’s happening is that something that could quite easily be sorted and all parties moved on is stuck, like that cross on the top of Mt Roskill, reminding all involved that the revenge and tortune must continue. There’s no sacrifice for man’s good here, that’s for sure!

Find a symbol of peace and plant that

Go home little boy soldier. This ain’t your concern and you’re playing games with real people who can come together in time.

If your team or community has a big problem between two people, look around and see whether there’s someone shuffling around under the radar stirring up the revenge to sustain the anger and torture in perpetuity.

That won’t be the original problem, but it could be sustaining it unnecessarily. Get rid of the little soldier boy who’s planted themselves in the middle of this thing and replace him or her with someone who know about peace. And happiness.

That would be a great start to any weekend! Enjoy yours. I will be – catching up with the folks – and we’ll have a great family time together.

Stephen