Tag: Leadership Insights

Stories we didn’t hear

We never heard their last moments and we didn’t even find their bodies, but the families and friends of nine people who perished in the Christchurch earthquake had their day in the coroner’s court last week. The chief coroner decided that they all died from multiple traumatic injuries and I guess some closure was brought to the families and others close to those that perished.

I just liked this photo that I took today!

They didn’t do anything special – they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time when the earth moved as it regularly does, especially in Christchurch at the moment.  Luck can be a good thing, but also a devastating thing and my thoughts are often with those that lost loved ones  in the 22 February earthquake.

Facilitating a day of storytelling workshops last week we heard some fantastic stories, from the heart. Disclosures of events long ago were made, as the group worked with each other and shared, and in the process grew. Storytelling has a practical application in developing and enhancing leadership. There is nothing more rewarding than hearing a story from years past, and the meaning that it now brings to the leader. Or so I thought. When I thought I’d uncovered all the depth that could be to discover from one participant, I asked (intending to work with how the same stories are told differently in different contexts) “So you’ve told this story before”. Answer “No, that was the first time”. Given the story, that was big and I reckon we had a very special session for all those present.

Luck can decide all sorts of things. Share your stories now. You’ll be giving a gift to everyone, including yourself. Luck put us on the planet. Don’t wait I say.

Stephen

Is that my hot water?

I’ve worked very late the last few days getting ready for a new programme we’re running next week. Working late when under pressure can test my resilience and with it, my sense of humour but I’ve kept it intact so far. Well that’s my own reflection anyhow and I’m the one doing the writing here!

I spent yesterday in Mt Maunganui with clients workshopping (is that really a word?) some concepts that will be used to roll out some performance management and training over the coming year. It was a pleasure to work with people who know how to have a laugh. We cracked jokes and had several Larry David moments including “was that hot water for my long black or are we sharing? I feel I need to claim it if it’s just mine you know”.

I reckon we achieved a lot yesterday. We worked pretty hard and the ability to have a laugh during the process was an important component of how we worked. We didn’t put a team charter together, we all took roles at leading and at times there were random jokes that on the face of it distracted, but actually kept the energy up, the connections alive and the thought processes going.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t enjoy a joke? Is there a relationship between humour and creativity? Humour and irony in particular is an important part of our culture and can have an important role in leadership.

Do you use humour in your leadership? Do you try to? Or does it just happen? Giving feedback truthfully and with empathy will require emotional intelligence, experience and a lot of self-awareness. Delivering difficult news about a restructure proposal will be a serious business. And you won’t want to make light of it.

Lot’s of leadership though, is about creating an energy that gets your team in a creative space, if you’re wanting to take your business to the next level. Taking that step-change you know you need to create to make a difference.

That’s where humour can come in. Not taking the mickey out of each other – that can easily be bullying – but sharing humour with each other. Irony that acts like a team brain gym, keeping the energy up and the creative juices flowing.

Think of it another way: does the permanently serious boss who frowns when you’re having a laugh really get the team going? Chances are it’s about something else – some fear of not being in the group which he or she won’t be if there’s no engagement. No casual Friday around this dude!

So are you a leader with humour? I’d say you can’t be one without the other. Humour is that special, connecting characteristic of being a human being that not only separates us from the animals – it can separate us from the mundane.

Back off, the hot water is mine! It’s actually quite a serious business. Maybe humour is actually the opposite of what we think it is. Seriously, you need it. Especially if you want to engage.

Stephen

Wedded to tradition

In working with mission, vision and values we often hear stories. Some include traditions and there’s something in many of us that is attracted to tradition. For stability perhaps, sometimes as a guiding torch from the past to show the path forward. It’s a got a solid, perhaps staid, but reliable feeling, that word tradition.

Home in time to cook for your man

Last night I saw the delightful New Zealand movie My Wedding and other Secrets. Chinese Kiwi girl meets Pakeha Kiwi boy but it has to be kept secret because of traditional Chinese thinking about mixed-race relationships. That it’s Chinese traditional thinking is probably of little consequence to the message here – it could easily be in reverse in some families.

It got me thinking (again!) about this tradition thing. My first reaction to it was that it was more about control – or more particularly losing it – than any value-driven tradition, that made Chinese Mum and Dad so difficult. I found it difficult to understand what the basis or purpose of the tradition was. It looked solely like a desperate bid to control a family and replicate the parents’ own experience. Apparently it’s based on a true story and I’m not surprised – it’s probably true many times over.

Having reflected for 24 hours I’m still in the same place. It sounds really obvious but when we refresh ourselves, our teams or our organisations we have to let stuff go – you know that – we say it too out loud don’t we? Traditions need to be on the table for culling too. They might be plain wrong.  Are you hanging on to some apparently wise tradition from the past, when actually, you have more to offer, more enlightenment and wisdom than those that went before?

After all: Zeus, witches, a flat earth, smoking, hitting kids, only men voting or managing, racial segregation, state-sponsored religious indoctrination were the hallmarks of wise traditions in the past. And still are in some places.

Wise people live today, not just in the past. Chances are you’re one of them.

Don’t waste it.

Stephen

ps it’s a lovely movie

Hitting the spot

I had two significant conversations last week talking about authenticity and meaning in our work. We don’t always see the obvious. Someone who presents as confident, capable, even strategic can be as empty as can be. Yes, full of the right words, strategic linkages, linear flows and other deliberately important but shallow phrases. They might have an important job, looking after many people and a major division and a family who’s on the fast track to societal bliss.

And it may be perfect. But it may also be that you feel something is not congruent. As one of my colleagues said, “there’s nothing in here”, stabbing his heart. I remember being a cynical boy listening to stuff at a religious service about loving with all your heart and thinking “isn’t this just an organ that pumps blood!”.True, but we also now know that the wiring in our bodies is as big in our brains as it is in our gut. A gut feeling then perhaps, though that’s not the entire point of this.

If your organisation is only focussed on a limited range of number-driven KPIs then what? Happy investors? Possibly, but can the numbers only come from looking at the numbers? If you’re reading this then you probably don’t think so, but I challenge you to ask yourself if there aren’t times when the leadership and authenticity that drives business success is put to one side, because we really need to focus on the numbers. Maybe that always happens. If it’s true that corporate spending on leadership development slows during a recession, then that’s evidence enough I reckon. Say it again, spending on leadership development slows during a recession. That’s okay, but don’t pretend you think leadership development is a key driver of success. The manager with no heart has taken over. And a body without a heart is well, stuffed really, the brain will soon die along with all the other organs. And you won’t even know if you’re bleeding without a heart.

Enough of the metaphor! When I engage with an authentic person who has meaning in their life I know it and I can connect, whatever they do. Can you? Look around you at work. Who hits the spot?

Are you leading with something in the spot? That something is everything you are. A happy authentic space.

Stephen