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On 30 June last year Duncan Meek made a terrible error on the Southern Motorway in Auckland and collided with the Fa’aeteete family van. Mr Fa’aeteete was killed leaving Mrs Fa’aeteete instantly widowed with a son, a daughter, granddaughter and another on the way.
I admit to reading the news and being somewhat immune to it all. It’s not often I feel particularly moved but the story in the NZ Herald about Duncan Meek’s sentencing and Mrs Fa’aeteete moved me.
“To err is human, to forgive is divine,” Mrs Fa’aeteete told the court. “If Petelo was here he would say that it’s done. Learn from it and don’t do it again.” She continued: “We met with Duncan Meek. His monumental loss of concentration had dark consequences – it caused the death of our beloved Petelo. His remorseful demeanour left me no option than to live by Petelo’s legacy to be forgiving.”
Mrs Fa’aeteete hugged Mr Meek in court, cried and told him to not do it again.
Where did Aida Fa’aeteete get such strength to forgive? I don’t really know, but probably in part from her late beloved Petelo. I’m sure Mr Meek’s remorse had something to do with it too.
Mrs Fa’aeteete is a remarkable woman who shows extraordinary leadership. The courts are full of revenge dressed up as justice while we have the people, the will and the resources to truly move on with justice that restores peace through forgiveness and being heard.
We can all learn from Mr Fa’aeteete, more so than she thinks possible I reckon. Such powerful actions, unplanned and genuine. She get’s the last word today: “My husband was a forgiving person. I will forgive Duncan once, I just hope he learns from it. If we achieve that, and he doesn’t do it again and if someone else learns from this, then that’s more than enough for me.”
Stephen
I’m slowing getting used to working up high. I didn’t think much of it at first but after three weeks I’ve realised that there is something about working in a high-rise that gives me a different sense. Something not quite right at first.
I headed off on foot to return a DVD to the local video store tonight, then continued almost all the way to Mt Eden Village through the back streets. It’s a beautiful summer’s evening – someone was practicing the piano with the window open, a young man was watching a movie on his laptop on the balcony and Grandma’s (she’s getting a lot of airing in the blogs lately!) old house was looking tidy and calm. A peaceful warm night.
I’m tired in the evening nowadays, learning the ropes at my new work is taking a lot of energy and walking tonight up to the video shop had unexpectedly good consequences. Simple really, I felt grounded.
I often walk on the waterfront and it’s grand, great views and you never tire of it. But a walk around the streets was something very special. Summer, local people, crickets, and that simple feeling of being connected with what’s around. This could be the good old days of Summer 2012 finally upon us so don’t miss it. And it’s yet another moment, when feeling not quite right that I’ve found peace in a simple connection.
Just a simple walk.
Stephen
Collecting the clock from after its refurbishment before Christmas the Clockmaker declared it “fully wound, you should rewind it every week”. The clock has three wind mechanisms – the clock, the hourly signals and the fifteen minute chimes. I don’t usually have the latter two wound, preferring not to be woken every fifteen minutes. Somehow Grandma could sleep through it though!
So I’ve been removing the weight, the thing that keeps the “tick tock” going, a lovely soothing sound, during the evening. Sometimes I’m too busy or don’t remember to put the weight back in so it’s taking quite a few weeks to wind down the offending chimes.
It’s a long weekend for the top half of the North Island and another one for the whole country next week, thanks to Waitangi Day being on the Monday. Having been back at work for two weeks there’s a lingering sense of holding on to the holidays with two long weekends in a row. And hoping that we might get more than a few summer days in a row!
Leadership is always on show – I’ve blogged about that many times. You know, if you run into a leader you admire in the weekend, will you find the same person you know or know of if it’s a public leader? You should do I reckon. If they’re an authentic leader.
But leadership is also about taking the weight off when you can and when you need to. Some people like Grandma never seemed to need to – she was a hardworking woman who was doing the accounts for a local business well into her seventies – and later, yes later, Patron of the local Bridge club.
I’m nursing some soreness which is meaning a bit of a stand-down from long runs at the moment, so that combined with the long weekends means taking the weight off for a bit. Even though it’s the start of the year, it’s still a good time to build resilience. In fact it’s always a good time to build resilience so take the weight off when you can, whatever time of the year it is.
Maybe just overnight, like the clock!
You’ll be a better leader for it.
Stephen
Stephen Drain's Leadership Blog 